Making Sesshoumaru Miserable
by Itachilova101
Summary: Just as the title says! Our widdo Sesshy has been badass for too long! It's time to show him what it's like... to be human! Rated T for language. This will NOT be continued! Just wanted to show it off.


A/N: I found this buried away on my laptop and couldn't resist sharing it with you XD

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><p>As soon as he caught up to that woman, he was going to kill her. He was going to rip her limb from limb, toss the pieces into the river and then have Ah-Un piss in it. No, no, no, that wasn't <em>nearly<em> what that bitch deserved! She deserved to have the worst, most evil, most feared curse put on her, live with it for three years and _then _he would tear her limb from limb, toss her in the river and then have Ah-Un piss in it.

Ah, sweet justice. But first... he had to find the bitch! This was where the all-powerful demon lord was having some problems. It was a bit hard to sniff out his prey when he no longer had his super-demon (yes, a bad pun on the narrator's part, but superhuman just doesn't work in this case) sense of smell.

And that was half the reason why Sesshoumaru was so pissed off.

He walked through the forest, his head held high, his hands clenched into fists (it was still very odd not to have the familiar feeling of his claws digging into the palms of his hands) and his once silver hair now black. And the worst part? He couldn't see in the goddamn dark!

So he was left stumbling like an idiot, trying to keep up the cool confidence he had learned to control after hundreds of years, but it was difficult when he was tripping over every stupid bloody tree root in his path!

He would have growled if he hadn't been trying to retain his pride.

Well, he supposed that, since he couldn't sense the presence of anybody in the surrounding area (not that he could sense _anything_ in his current state); the cool front wasn't really necessary... but still. He had lost his demonic powers, his animalistic grace and, considering Tokijin was a demon sword, he had probably lost the ability to wield it, as well. All he _had_ was his pride!

Okay, he was getting off track here. What had he been doing before his pity fest? Oh, right, bitch. Kill the bitch. Yes, he was going to throw her into the river, then chop her up and...

Wait a minute. Sesshoumaru stopped. He didn't have to be a demon with super-demon hearing to hear the ruckus of what appeared to be a very intense argument going on not far from where he was stumbling.

Now, in normal circumstances, Sesshoumaru was never one to eavesdrop. He preferred to keep his nose out of business that did not involve him. But these, he decided, were not normal circumstances (surely being turned into a human by an evil witch was not an everyday experience for demons) and so he stood with his back against a tree, hiding as he listened to the bickering.

"We just collected two new shards!" a woman was whining, "So why can't I go home for just a few days?"

"Because...!" he heard a voice—a voice far too similar to a certain hanyou's to be a coincidence—exclaim impatiently, "Just because we have some shards doesn't mean that we can take a break! There are still so many out there!"

Shards... jewel shards... InuYasha was looking for the jewel shards. He was looking for them so that he could stop being a filthy half-demon and become a full one like his older brother and late father. So... could it reverse curses? Could it turn a demon-cum-human _back _into a demon? That had to be possible, didn't it?

"Yes, but—InuYasha? What's wrong? What do you smell?"

"A human... but Tetsusaiga is trembling as though Tenseiga is nearby. The weirdest part is that I can smell Sesshoumaru, but I can't sense his demonic aura. I mean, if Sesshoumaru were a human, that's exactly how he'd smell!"

Damn... He had to get out of there! If InuYasha saw him as a human, he'd most certainly do one of two things: kill him right away or keep him alive simply for the sake of taunting him endlessly. Either way, he'd never live it down. And so, he took a step, then another step and then—

"WAGH!" he exclaimed in surprise, tripping over a rather inconveniently-placed rock and landing face-first in the ground.

Well, fuck... _that_ hadn't been a part of his plan.

"Over there!" he heard InuYasha exclaim and he tried to scramble to his feet and make a hasty retreat only to feel a sharp pain in his ankle followed by his entire leg giving way. Ah, the human body... how easy it is to injure. He used to take pride in his killings, but now that he knew it was so easy to immobilize one—a rock apparently proved more than sufficient—what was left of his pride slowly trickled away into nothingness.

Well, fuck...

"Hey there, buddy, you oka—holy crap-cakes, it's Sesshoumaru!"

Sesshoumaru looked into the face of one human girl—a very familiar human girl—and sighed. That what's-her-face girl. The odd one dressed in even weirder clothes that possessed the miko powers. The one who appeared very close to InuYasha and who seemed to have a very loud voice that even a half-demon couldn't miss from miles away. A half-demon like InuYasha who was just so conveniently placed several feet away and coming closer.

Well, fuck...

"But his hair is... black," the girl commented helpfully, "And his eyes are brown. Those lines on his face are gone and he has no more claws. InuYasha, Sesshoumaru isn't a half-demon, too, is he? Could today be his one day of being human?"

"No way, Sesshoumaru is definitely a full demon!"

"But then... why is he human?"

Sesshoumaru sighed and let his face fall back into the earth. This was just too humiliating. He might as well give them a brief overview of what happened so that he could get all this agony over with.

"It's all Kikyou's fault."

XOXO Chapter End XOXO

"So, let me get this straight," the miko girl said as a way to summarize all that Sesshoumaru had just said as she bandaged his twisted ankle, "Kikyou had been looking for you for however long and, once she found you, she put a curse on you, purifying your demonic aura and replacing it with a mortal one, so you're a human now."

"That's right."

"Why would she do that?" she asked, not out of disbelief, but curiosity. She was actually wondering what the dead bitch's reasoning was.

InuYasha paused from his snickering to scoff. "Why not? If I had Kikyou's powers, I'd do it, too. I'm sure there are at least another... fifty or so people _that I know of_ that would do the same!"

"It's rather simple. Jakken taunted her and told her she was a useless woman who would never stand up to me and she proved otherwise."

"... What happened to Jakken?"

"I left him as a bloody pulp and left Rin in a village to be cared for while I resolve this issue."

"Why are you all of a sudden so talkative?"

_Because I no longer have a working ego... I plan on killing you all in due time, so it doesn't matter what I say..._ Instead of saying those very true statements, he resorted to what he figured to be equally true, "It came with the whole human package."

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><p>AN: Okay, so a few notes that I think should be added into this... First, I have no intention of continuing this story. It was something I had written a very, very long time ago and have longsince lost interest in the plot. I just love the comedy of this XD Another thing I would like to add to this before people start hating on me is that Sesshoumaru's OOC-ness was INTENTIONAL! That means, kids, that I MEANT for him to be this way. I just kind of figured that if he were human, he'd have "hormones" so he'd act more... human-ish.

Also! On a completely unrelated note, I'm finally getting published! One of my poems will be featured in an anthology titled Stars In Our Hearts, which will be published in October. Keep your eyes peeled for it, everybody!

Good night, all!

Itachilova... OUT!


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